#i'm autism
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after years; finally an introduction just to move it from my bio
i'm forest. early 20s. they/he/she
my call of duty writing blog @aforestescape
my sims reblog blog @fernithsims
my degrees of lewdity blog @ferntheblogger
profile picture from @applestand
#thats all folks#monster lover#cod#marauders#fields of mistria#dimension 20#dol#trans and proud#i'm autism
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ONE OF THE PEOPLE WHO HELPED TRANSLATE 1972 LES MIS TO ENGLISH JUST REBLOGGED THE THEODULE EDIT. Please it's the least funny one out of the three I've done so far!!! Please!! Please magically find the others!!!!!!
#seanposting#i would @ them but i'm a pussy#if someone has done something notable for a community/important to me#i see them as like. someone above me. and i get so shy.#not like idolization???? more like. respect?? hmm#i'm autism
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As an autistic monster fucker and a furry (stay with me) I feel confident in saying Laios is not a monster fucker. Laios hyperfixates on monsters like irl people hyperfixate on dinosaurs. Not once have I seen him interested in a monster sexually. He is all about fun facts and recipes.
He is, however, definitely a furry and I'd bet money he's got a fursona and a monstersona.
Thank you for coming to my ted talk.
#delicious in dungeon#laios touden#dunmeshi laios#laios#furry#autism#these are my hyperfixations and i will make a slide show if i must#dungeon meshi#that being said see him how you see him I'm not the fandom police lol
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to anyone missing my writing please know i am also missing my writing
#about me#long span depression episode#plus tired#plus family issues#I'm looking after myself but I do miss just being able to get the words down#writing#right now I am also ill so that sucks#but hey#got an autism diagnosis a few months back which explains so much#oh god 10k notes
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autism is a bitch and i'm gonna fist fight it
#vld#this is something keith would say#but it is me#i'm autism#i'm a bitch#i'm gonna fist fight myself
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AuDHD is so funny sometimes like what do you mean my hyperfixations/special interests will last for years on end or possibly forever but they will cycle out every month or two with absolutely no transitional period or warning. like i will think about the same topic every day obsessively for 46 days in a row and on the 47th day with no visible cause adhd brain goes "ok! bored of that now" and autism brain goes "dw i got something queued up for ya" and i blast into full blown obsession on some other topic whose mental file folders haven't opened in 9 months. brain's out here treating hyperfixations like a crop rotation. once the dopamine runs out it cycles in another one but once something's in the rotation it never ever leaves. last summer we brought in one from when i was 11. it's so funny to me but frustrating too bc like. i cannot stress enough my inability to predict or control this. or how completely abrupt and random it can be
#actually adhd#actually autistic#audhd#aphelion.txt#ik 'adhd brain' vs 'autism brain' is a gross oversimplification especially given how much overlap there can be#but it at least helps me conceptualize wtf is going on in my head when i do this lol#and yeah i'm mostly referring to fandoms in this post but it can happen w more 'Traditional' special interests too#like my linguistics special interest which hasn't popped up in a couple years now but whenever it does#i will fill literal notebooks while studying 4 languages at once and simultaneously inventing a conlang#and then i'll be like Ok that was fun! and several months later im deleting like. 2gb of textbooks off my iphone to make room for an update#And sometimes yeah there is a precipitating event like 'Oh something new happened in X fandom with my blorbo!' but sometimes it's like#yeah. no. idk either. switch got flipped in my brain and X no longer sparks joy. only Y rn. how come it's Y? yeah idk i also wish i knew#i don't think any of this is actually an uncommon experience for people with these types of neurodivergencies it's just.#the severity of abruptness and TOTALITY of the switch that makes me feel like a weirdo sometimes lol#like I'M getting mental whiplash from this sometimes. idk how y'all are still following my blog
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senshi fans: learning how to make nutritious meals for themselves
laios fans: down bad
marcille fans: lesbianism
chilchuck fans: putting that man in situations
#this is what I've observed over the past few weeks#it's great#dungeon meshi#delicious in dungeon#senshi#laois touden#marcille donato#chilchuck#2000+ notes later and I'm starting to think i read y'all to filth#with exception to senshi fans also being down for him#update at 9000 notes: you can like laois for autism reasons and still be down bad#some of y'all in the tags and fics are down bad for laois in mental way#like you want him to be real so you can do brain crazy with him do you understand
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Laios Finnish phenotype real
#ice/snow bath straight out of the sauna feels so good I'm not kidding#he just like me fr fr finnish autism king#dungeon meshi#laios touden
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man I wish people understood how much it sucks ass to be neurodivergent and trying to find the middle ground where people like/tolerate you. like, I'm either "boring" (trying to wait my turn in conversations, holding space for other people, taking a back seat to let others get some spotlight) or "too much" (too loud/talking too much, getting excited to share, trying to participate in group conversations/activities). No one really talks about how much of being neurodivergent is just sort of trying to make yourself palatable.
I feel like so much of my life has been spent trying to find this effortless sort of middle ground everyone else seems to automatically already know, and I'm always swinging too far one way or the other. I'm lucky to have neurodivergent friends who grok me, but goddamn I wish that I could just like, exist without the constant background script in my brain that's like "you're being too loud. You're not talking enough. you're being self-centered. you're being boring. you're wrong, you're wrong, you're wrong." I feel like I'm back in high school trying to make friends but stuck as the eternal "weird kid"
it's just... lonely and sucks bad.
#I'm fine#just had a sort of blegh night with some people I'm playing dnd with#not a big deal but man the way I interact with neurodivergent people vs neurotypical people is like speaking two languages#except I'm only fluent in one of them and keep accidentally insulting people in the other#I'm just trying to make friends irl#flux's bullshuit#neurodivergent#autism#adhd#audhd#audhd things#audhd problems
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i think we should always take predominant sexes and races for psychiatric disabilities into question.
are men really more likely to be antisocial or narcissistic, or are women just overlooked because ASPD/NPD are seen as too "aggressive" for them?
are women really more likely to be borderline or histrionic, or are they just seen as so "hysterical" that they have to be feminine?
are black people more likely to have schizophrenia or ODD, or are labels of "psychosis" and "defiance" simply used to further dismiss, oppress, and imprison BIPOC?
are white people more likely to have autism and ADHD, or are doctors just more willing to accept that white children are disabled and not just "bad?"
oppressive biases are everywhere in psychiatry. never take psychiatric demographics at face value.
#hi i'm back. i got covid and also into anti-psychiatry#anti-psychiatry#antisocial personality disorder#narcissistic personality disorder#borderline personality disorder#histrionic personality disorder#schizophrenia#oppositional defiant disorder#autism#ADHD#sexism mention#racism mention#antipsych#ASPD#NPD#BPD#HPD#ASD#antipsychiatry#anti psychiatry#anti-psych#anti psych
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i'm sorry but i don't think we should call this the "autism website" when there's still posts with tons of notes mocking people who:
struggle with social skills / have anxiety around social settings
are unemployed / unable to work certain jobs
have intense or "age-inappropriate" interests
haven't had certain life experiences that are deemed universal/essential
struggle with personal hygiene
don't have any friends or dating experience
don't go outside much or at all
take things literally / don't get sarcasm/jokes
have unusual ways of speaking
generally aren't "normal"
#+ other things i'm probably forgetting rn#i know most of these apply to other disabilities too but i wanted to focus on autism bc of all the 'autism website' stuff#it's genuinely disturbing to see someone go 'lol autism website'#and then in the next breath be like 'omg look at this loser who [literal symptom of autism]'#but i guess when these people talk about autism they don't mean actual autism#but the tiktok style 'just a bit quirky but still able to assimilate into abled hegemony with ease' autism#i'm just tired of the hypocrisy#autism acceptance month is over now it's time for autism wrath month#being disabled on tumblr can be fucking awful sometimes. might take a break for a while bc i just don't have the energy to deal with it#autism#actually autistic#actuallyautistic
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Don't laugh at people or mock people who are "childish". People are allowed to like things that are considered "childish". Toys, kids cartoons, anything like that can be a valuable source of comfort for the people who like them. It's important to have things in life that make you happy, and without them it gets miserable. Wether that thing is stuffed animals or cooking or writing lyrics, what's important is that others don't ridicule and belittle them for it. There shouldn't be such judgement for the things that make people happy.
#i'm just really pissed rn#once again my family is making fun of me to my face for having a lot of stuffed animals#they make me comfortable and happy#especially when i'm overwhelmed#i shouldn't even NEED to justify it like this#serious post#my post#autism#sfw agere#age regression#actually autistic#serious talk#important#idk what to tag#neurodivergent
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i'll never get over how fascinating eliot's characterization as a hitter. obviously he's trained- military, hand to hand, weaponry, martial arts- that's to be expected. but so often I think in media about like. the Best Hitters in this genre and etc they're characterized by like? not getting hit. they're sooo good that the avoid every punch and catch every kick in mid air and dodge bullets and etc and that's not Eliot at all. he lets himself get punched in the face. he gets kicked and bowled over and uses that shift in momentum to his advantage. he gets knocked to the ground and the guys he's fighting think he's down for the count for only one moment before Eliot Spencer gets back up. because he always gets back up- but that character trait is Only compelling IF he gets knocked down enough for it to MATTER. and he DOES! and his fighting skills- they're not innate, they're not a natural inclination to fighting, its training and knowledge- he can talk about details and styles at length, he can (and does!) teach the others how to take and throw a punch, which speaks even more to his skill and knowledge and ability. he's the hitter because he's been doing it so long. because he fights to survive and he isn't afraid to get hit and lose the fight to win the battle. god. Eliot Spencer. character of all time
#theres a post somewhere about Parker and how shes so brilliantly written to subvert the expected cat burglar femme fatale archetype#which. obviously. parker leverage love of my life character of all time I love women with autism#but also<3 give a little space for Eliot <3#also he's hot. hello slutty tank tops and hair flips. I'm just a girl.#leverage#Eliot spencer#does this post make sense? who cares
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So we all know by now that Dazai is comfortable enough around Chuuya to show nervousness/worry.
Enough times for Chuuya to pick up on that pattern. The pattern, may I remind you, that doesn't have evident correlation to either nervousness or worry to most people. One that can even be interpreted as misplaced given the situation.
Which means that Dazai has done this in front of Chuuya so often, that Chuuya at first was hella confused, before he finally made a connection between when and why it happens. And still remembered that connection after four years of separation. Which gets us to my point:
What if this isn't the only emotion Dazai displays weirdly?
What if he has multiple unconventional patterns he displays for sadness, frustration, content, or disgust? The times he really feels them, and they become too strong for him to just deal with normally? What if these are the only times he's actually being genuine with his emotions?
And Chuuya is the only one who is familiar with them all?
Dazai would be jumping rope and Chuuya would be like, "quit sulking, let's get icecream"
Dazai hanging upside down on the couch and Chuuya going, "It's okay, mackerel. You can cry."
Dazai actually crying, full on heart-wrenching sobs, and Chuuya unironically going, "What, good news?"
It's just... comforting, for one person in Dazai's life to read him like a book. Everyone else would look at him like he's crazy, displaying wrong emotions/behaviors at the wrong time, but Chuuya knows that it's just how he processes feeling properly, and thus he's the only one Dazai can count on to put things into context and understand, which makes him display them even more openly.
Because Chuuya never shamed him for his quirks, as much as Dazai never did his.
#It's such a funny situation to imagine as well#Dazai doing the most out of pocket shit and Chuuya being like “It's okay. I'm here.”#and everyone else going like: ?????#I'd like for everyone to imagine weird Dazai quirks and how they relate to his true feelings#maybe even take moments from the manga that would be so cool#imagine the out of pocket things he does had just been him processing his feelings this entire time??#and there was no Chuuya to tell us#I mean seeing Dazai roll around with any ADA member would have made that a “haha quirky Dazai moment”#Instead of. Oh. He's *actually* worried.#bsd#bungou stray dogs#skk#soukoku#dazai osamu#chuuya nakahara#bsd dazai#bsd chuuya#bsd hcs#bsd headcannons#bsd analysis#J's post#J's writing ✍🏽#Edit: as one tag said I just described autism lmao
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face value
#it's autism torment hours for cloud strife (featuring Projection™️)#everybody just assumes the worst about cloud the moment they meet him.#i think all the time about the 'be nice!' -> 'i'm doing my best :(' thing from remake. like. all he did was answer a fucking question.#it burns because i know EXACTLY what it's like to be on the receiving end of that. 'don't be rude!' i wasn't planning on it but ok i guess?#and people getting mad because they assumed i meant something completely different than what i said.#how many times have i asked 'hey when are we leaving' (so i know when we're leaving. god forbid)#only for them to hear 'WAAA WAAAAAAA HURRY UP!!!!!!! I WANNA LEAVE RIGHT NOWWWWW UGGHHHHHH'#like ???????????#we're speaking the same language right??? RIGHT????????#cloud listen bby. just know that i'm always here for you. even if no one else got ur back.#ok i'm better now. at least until the next easily avoidable stupid misunderstanding#ffvii#cloud strife#my art <3
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"it's very problematic to make your space aliens autistic-coded" SPEAK FOR YOURSELF 👽👽👽👽👽🛸🛸🛸 ALIEN LASER BLAST ATTACK ✨✨✨🌠🌠🌠🌠🌟🌟🌟🌟🌟
#when i was a very small very autistic kid and i saw invader zim for the first time i was like bro he just like me fr#my Also Autistic mom was always like you have to be nice to the humans ok. you have to trick them into thinking you're human#now that i'm better at actually dealing with The Symptoms i relate more to the uhhh non-planet-conquering aliens#shebbz shoutz#spock#superman#invader zim#actually autistic#autistic adult#autism
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